Inspired By You.

(Late night thoughts= deep blog post. Oh snap)


I think most people nowadays are looking for something to fill voids within them. Something inside us is simply lacking and we constantly crave the desire to fill whatever this "thing" inside us is. Where do we go? What do we turn to? Who do we turn to? For me, I'm constantly searching, constantly trying to understand what it is that I'm looking for. I always seem to think I'm on the right track, but then I seem to find myself back at square one time and time again. I'm currently in New York visiting my brother and got to watch his basketball game. After the game my family and I were in the car and suddenly my brother became very down on himself. He said he was at a point with basketball where he didn't know how much more he could take of his quote on quote "mistakes." I never knew how much he was struggling with this because he always puts on this front and acts like everything is okay. To me, he's doing great with basketball, he's always putting in the extra time and literally draining himself to the point of complete exhaustion just to "get better." When I looked over at him and saw the pain in his eyes, right there my heart just broke.  My brother over the years has become my best friend.  Whether  he knows it or not he's one of my biggest role models. When I see him succeed I want to make myself better. When I see him conquer what I think is the "impossible" I can't help but smile. And when I see him lacking that spirit and drive he always portrays, I can't help but get a little down too.  My dad, being the "picker uper he is" chimed in with "Nick you don't even know how much of an inspiration you are, you gotta keep going, don't give up." It's true, I don't think he even comprehends how much he inspires others and that's something I admire about him. He truly inspires me, every single day. And it hit me, I don't need one certain thing to fill this so call void, it's just about finding that inspiration in your life and motivating yourself and others around you to make your dreams into reality, to find that happiness I guess you could call it. Maybe I'm just pulling an Oprah moment over here, but to me this all somehow makes sense. Inspiration is all around us, but it's up to us to open our eyes and truly see what we can become. Although, we all may feel empty sometimes, lack that self-confidence, or think we're not worth it, if you choose to dig deep enough and look for that inspiration around you, you'll see you're not really lost, you're just on your way to finding who/what you're truly worth. I got out of the car and held in my tears, but as soon as I hugged him I became a human waterfall. I didn't wanna let him go.  Since we're both away at college now, the times I see him are limited so saying goodbye to him every time is hard, but tonight was especially difficult. It was one of those brother/sisterly moments I can't  explain, but it was nice how he didn't really wanna let me go either. There was a time in my life where I honestly thought we would never be close or ever be able to bond, but these past 5 or so years have been eye openers and he's been there every step of the way with that wacky smile and some hard core advice that makes you think until you're brain hurts. I'm not sure if he knows what he's done for me, but besides being a great brother hes a true inspiration and a friend, a best friend that anyone would be lucky to have. What else could I ask for? Not much. Thank you Nick. I love you.

2014, I'm coming for ya.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!

2014...man..doesn't that sound weird? Is it me or did 2013 completely fly by. I find myself saying that a lot now. It kind of scares me how fast everything is happening nowadays. Its like...CAN I JUST HAVE A MINUTE TO ENJOY IT! slow down life, slow the f*ck down.

So as I sit here and write this post and reflect upon this past year I can't help but get a tad bit emotional. Lets review, shall we?

I made some new friends. I had my last basketball season of highschool. I graduated highschool. I worked with the Autism Project. I got into a great college. I had my heart broken. I turned 18. I became closer with my family. I met someone who makes me smile everyday. I lost members of my family. I started my youtube. I started a blog. I lost friends. I realized more about myself this past year than I ever have before. (and so on and so on)

2013 for me came with so many ups and a good handful of downs. I can honestly say though, without everything that happened I wouldn't be the person I am today. Each day I'm realizing new things, understanding whats important to me and whats not, who actually deserves to be in my life and who doesn't and most importantly I'm finally starting to figure who I want to be and my own self worth.

So this new year, I decide I shouldn't make any cazy resolutions, but instead just add things to my already growing "daily life" sorta list.
- stay healthy and realize going to the gym is not a demand but yet a lifestyle
- detach from my phone
- not make social media my life
- find real/true people who can only better your life
- don't care what everyone else thinks or says about what YOU do
- don't be so hard on yourself
- everything will work out the way it's supposed to workout
-Be happy. Because if you're not happy with yourself, who can be happy for you?

I'm ready for this New Year. I don't want it to be "just another year" though. I think it's time to ditch the "I'm sorry for myself" attitude and just be positive and go after my crazy dreams.

Because at this point...what do I have to lose? Answer: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Do something adventurous this year. Think outside the box. Don't be afraid. Oh and most importantly,
Don't Forget Your Smile.
- xoxo Ali

Finals are the enemy.

It's here. It's time. SAVE MEEEEEEEEEE.

Finals week is here and I am scared to say the least. First time taking finals as a freshman in college. Where has the time gone? The other day I was applying to college and now the first semester of freshman year is coming to an end? WEIRD. weird weird weird. I can't get over it. 

I hope everyone taking finals makes it through. I WILL PRAY FOR YOU.

But if you need a pick me up please feel free to take a look at some pictures me and my friends took to distract ourselves from studying. We're really cool...we know.

So, welp...there is that.

Good luck to all you college peeeeeeps.

stay calm and carry on

Dont Forget Your Smile:)

Ali xoxox 

"Tomorrows A New Day"

WHY.WHY.WHY.WHY

I dont understand.

I'm sitting here at 1:13 contemplating why I even try anymore. I know that sounds super deep, but do you ever just put all your effort into something, care about someone so much and then get let down?

I think every girl has experienced it and let me tell ya ..IT SUCKS.

BOYS GET IT TOGETHER. AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR DIS.

I usually don't rant about this sort of stuff, but sometimes enough is just enough.

But when will I be enough?

I don't think I even want/can do this much longer because what else do I have to give when I put myself out there and get nothing in return. It's like I'm waiting for change, but I even know...nothing will change.

I guess us girls try to convince ourselves that "things get better with time" and who is to say this isn't true. But I defiantly think we give more than we get...if that makes any sense?

I've learned many things over the past couple months and the biggest thing I've learned is you can't change yourself to make others happy. Always stay true to who you are no matter how tough it is.

This is just a bump in the rode, we all go through it...I just wish I had stopped it before it got out of control.

Whatcha gonna do though, right?

Like my mom always says "tomorrow's a new day."
Can't let little things tear you down.

Sleep tight everyone.
Don't forget your smile:)
xoxo
-Ali

NEW.YORK.CITY.

NEWWWWWYAWWWWK.

This weekend was a successful weekend to say the least. Where did I go? Well, if you could not read the title I WENT TO NYC. I went there to see my wonderful brother who I haven't seen since August 31st so you could say I was just a tad excited. My brother is one of my best friends so not being able to see him for a long period of time was basically torture. 

His basketball team was playing at NYU so we got to watch his team beast on the court. 

GO BUB! Number 12 on the court Number 1 in our hearts.

But I even got an elephant hat! You guys have no idea how exciting that moment was. I was thrilled.

And we also stayed right above ground zero. Very cool and eye opening at the same time. 

Overall really fun weekend. EVEN THOUGH I WAS FREEZING, wouldn't have change it for the world. Love my family more than anything. I'm one lucky gal.

Check out the short video I made of the trip too!!

AND CHECK OUT MY YOUTUBE FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT. 

Hope you all had a splendid Monday (ha like that's possible.) 

GOODNIGHT Y'ALL 

and...Don't forget your smile:)

xoxo- ALI